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Song Lyrics from "30-Year Reunion Sessions"

The Stanislaus Stomp

Hey everybody do the Stanislaus Stomp

Hey everybody do the Stanislaus Stomp

Watch old Stanislaus doing that stomp

Even Boscojonski does the stomp

The Stanislaus Stomp The Stanislaus Stomp

The Stanislaus Stomp

Hey everybody watch Staszu stomp

Hey everybody watch Staszu stomp

Watch old Staszu pounding that stump

Ruby Begonia been shakin' her rump

The Stanislaus Stomp The Stanislaus Stomp

The Stanislaus Stomp

Put on your boots and do The Stanislaus Stomp

Jump off the roof and do The Stanislaus Stomp

Shake your dirty dupa while you're doing that Stomp

Act like a glupiec when you're doing that Stomp

The Stanislaus Stomp The Stanislaus Stomp

The Stanislaus Stomp

Hey kochanies do The Stanislaus Stomp

Take off your clothes and do The Stanislaus Stomp

Hoarhadees do The Stanislaus Stomp

The whole damn world does The Stanislaus Stomp

The Stanislaus Stomp The Stanislaus Stomp

The Stanislaus Stomp

Um-Bop Waa Waa

Um-bop um-bop um-bop um-bop

Um-bop um-bop waa waa waa waa

Um-bop um-bop um-bop um-bop

Um-bop um-bop waa waa waa

boscosongbook.jpg

Volvites

You see 'em every day it's a crying shame

Doing fifty miles per hour in the passing lane

Gripping that wheel like they're gonna die

Staring at the highway like they're hypnotized

Volvites

Apply them at the same time the gas and the brake

Trying to decide which exit to take

Cars careening 'round them as they sputter along

The day they got a license there was something wrong

Volvites

On a winding road forcing drivers to swerve

Wandering into traffic rounding every curve

Cars flashing headlights and blowing their horns

But they can't awaken the Volvite unborn

Volvites

Safety is their motto their philosophy

Watch out for that mountain and for every tree

Drive below the limit because speed will kill

Driving's that much safer if you're standing still

Volvites

You see 'em every day it's a crying shame

Doing fifty miles per hour in the passing lane

Gripping that wheel like they're gonna die

Staring at the highway like they're hypnotized

Volvites

Dupa Dupa Toilet Bowl

Dupa dupa toilet bowl drains to the sea . . .

Jump down turn around pitch a pile of gowno

Jump down turn around fill a pail o' srac

Oh glupiec pitch a pile of gowno

Oh glupiec fill a pail o' srac

Dupa dupa toilet bowl drains to the sea . . .

If my name were Shprineyah Schmutz

Across the fruited plain

And I did not change my name

You'd have yourself to blame

Hoarhadee hoarhaha ha ha ha ha

Dupa dupa toilet bowl drains to the sea . . .

 

waltpeteguitar.jpg
"These new Polish chrusciki guitar strings just don't seem to stay in tune."

Ubiquitous Sphee

Popped some Viagra and I'm feelin' alright

Ruby Begonia kept me up half the night

Hormones are ragin' I'm high as a kite

I'm feeling free

Rollin' in greenbacks I'm dressed to the nines

Smothered in ladies my options are prime

How did this happen this cosmic fecundity

Ubiquitous Sphee . . .

Don't tell me nothin' I don't want to hear

Same time tomorrow it could all disappear

So in the meantime let's pull out the stops

And play for free

Ubiquitous Sphee . . .

I can't keep from smiling the future's so bright

Crank up the limo let's stay out all night

Don't try to stop me I'm a rugged hoarhadee

Ubiquitous Sphee . . .

 

chgrbeachtalk1.jpg
Walt & Pete discussing song arrangements.
The Airplane in the Well
Sounds of stirring silence or perhaps of
a haircut rushed up over the earth as a
day dawned. Who could it be who would
stare at the heavens at this early hour?
Yep, you guessed it, it was Bosco.
Natch this is not an unusual situation
because today is something special.
You see today, Bosco is going to the big
city. He skipped across the room with a
smile. He noticed that his wife was still
sleeping, so he cautiously kept his silence.
His wife, though, woke up. "Want some
popcorn?" she asked. Putting on his
rectangular pants and olive-colored hat,
Bosco proceeded to leave his house.
However, before leaving, he stared at his
overcoat hanging in the closet and
exclaimed to his wife, "It's gray!"
Somewhere outside a canary tweeted.
Out under the outside sky, Bosco walked
to the gate of the big city. He smiled
appreciatively as hethought of the mess
he had left back home. Once in the big city,
he soon learned to stick out his thumb and
get a ride. Eventually, Bosco found himself
in a park. As he walked among the
outstretched arms of the glistening trees and
listened to the symphony of the birds, he
began to feel alone. Wanting company,
Bosco ran. Thenst it was that he discovered
it: the mighty river, flowing wet through all
these years, uninterrupted by rain and storm.
Here he met Ypsilata. "Want some
popcorn?" Ypsilata asked. Now night was
arriving. Stranded in a big city, Bosco
became frightened. In a fit of terror he tore
through the streets, rushing for the airport.
He got on a plan and it crashed in a well.

We Burned the Christmas Tree

Listen my children and you shall hear

A story of great infamy

It's all about that fateful day

When we burned the Christmas tree

First we took a little LSD

Then we gathered 'round the Christmas tree

My family and my friends and me

We lit the branches of the Christmas tree

We burned the Christmas tree . . .

The branches crackled in the sizzling fire

The tinsel fastened to the melted wire

We danced around it in our gay attire

The yellow flames grew so much higher

We burned the Christmas tree . . .

Soon the ashes were flying

The trunk and branches were frying

The Christmas tree was dying in the flames

We burned the Christmas tree . . .

Walking with my Baba

Walking with my Baba  Talking with my Baba

Dancing with my Baba  Romancing with my Baba

Strolling with my Baba  Bowling with my Baba

Surfing with my Baba  Burping with my Baba

Knitting with my Baba  Spitting with my Baba

Dating with my Baba  Mating with my Baba

Lying with my Baba  Sighing with my Baba

Driving with my Baba  Diving with my Baba

Love my little Baba  Hug my little Baba

Kiss my little Baba  Miss my little Baba

Tease my stary Baba  Squeeze my stary Baba

Trail my stary Baba  Nail my stary Baba

Lying with my Baba  Sighing with my Baba

Crying with my Baba  Dying with my Baba

Careful Herbert

Careful Herbert was that thee

That through the theater thoughtlessly

Tripped and stumbled stupidly

Was that thou within the park

While catching fireflies after dark

Got frightened by the mad dog's bark

Careful Herbert . . .

Though your head lay like a log

Your mind encroached within a fog

Thy freedom lies outside the bog

Use your noggin's noodle nerves

Within yourself their knowledge serves

To distinguish the straights and curves

Careful Herbert . . .

 

 

petewalthifive.jpg
"So that's the sound of one hand clapping!"

Requiem for My Girl

The other day my girl died tra la la la la

The other day she passed away

Wensis wensis sla

The last thing she said to me Ubuquetra ta

Was "smash a donut on my knee"

Woyjee woyjee pa

Tra la la la la la la wensis wensis sla

Tra la la la la la la ubuquetra ta

Oh my girl she had cataracts tra la la la la

So she packed them in her sinuses

And went to Arizona wensis wensis sla

She went to Arizona ubuquetra ta

And plunged into the canyon grand

Woyjee woyjee pa

They took her to the hospital tra la la la la

She had a jelly donut for a head

Wensis wensis sla

Oh my girl she was bleeding bad ubuquetra ta

I was crying I was said woyjee woyjee pa

Tra la la la la la la wensis wensis sla

Tra la la la la la la ubuquetra ta

My girl died the very next day tra la la la la

Her big fat dupa looked like clay

Wensis wensis sla

It's so sad they took her away ubuquetra ta

Now I don't have someone with whom to play

Woyjee woyjee pa

And there I was at the funeral tra la la la la

She winked at me as they buried her

Wensis wensis sla

They lowered he body in the ground

Ubuquetra ta

Her eyes fell out and rolled around

Woyjee woyjee pa

Tra la la la la la la wensis wensis sla

Tra la la la la la la ubuquetra ta

I dug up her corpse from the ground

Tra la la la la

I couldn't tell what I'd found wensis wensis sla

But I found that she was brown ubuquetra ta

So you see I'm crazy now woyjee woyjee pa

When My Silverware Fell

off the Roof

I fell in love with you that's all I had to do

When my silverware fell off the roof

When my silverware fell off the roof . . .

I fell in love with you that's all I had to do

When my underwear flew off the roof

When my underwear flew off the roof . . .

I fell in love with you that's all I had to do

When my silverware fell off the roof

When my silverware fell off the roof . . .

 

 

 

 

 

chgrstudiodiscuss1.jpg
"These lyrics dont make sense." "So . . ."

FUBAR

When I met her on the street

I could hardly move my feet

I had the urge to split and cruise

But she was standing on my shoes

Then she said "Have you the time?"

I said "It's quarter after nine."

She said "That's funny because I've got

Nine-fifteen."

She muscled me into her car

And drove us to a downtown bar

I said "Hey listen, I've got to fly.

I had a great time." And she replied,

"I would have kissed you, but you defiled

My sensibilities."

Funked up beyond all recognition

Funked up beyond all repair

Funked up beyond all reason

How long will it take to understand her

She wanted to eat and that was fine

But bar food wasn't what I had in mind

She wolfed down pretzels and Guinness ale

She gobbled peanuts out of a pail

And then she hiccuped and spewed her meal

Onto the floor

Funked up beyond all recognition

Funked up beyond all repair

Funked up beyond all reason

How long will it take to understand her

Her hair was long and black

It hung halfway down her back

I wondered what I could have said

As she asked me to massage her head

I wasn't sure just how to act

But she ignored me and turned her back

Then plopped her head down on my lap

So I obliged

Funked up beyond all recognition

Funked up beyond all repair

Funked up beyond all reason

How long will it take to understand her

Then she drove back to my place

And couldn't find a parking space

So in her manner so discreet

She stopped in the middle of the street

I said "Hey listen, I've got to fly.

I had a great time." And she replied,

"I would have kissed you, but you defiled

My sensibilities."

Funked up beyond all recognition

Funked up beyond all repair

Funked up beyond all reason

How long will it take to understand her

Shower Rock Blues

I'm gonna put on my rock-n-roll shoes

I'm gonna jump in the shower

And wash away my blues

I'm gonna put on my rock-n-roll shoes

I'm gonna jump in the shower

And wash away my blues

I'm gonna put on my rock-n-roll shoes

And let Chaston and Groditski

Wash away my blues

bosco.jpg

(C)(P) 2000 Walter J. Groditski

& Peter R. Chaston (BMI)

Song Lyrics from "Rugged Hoarhadees"

We Were Raised in Warsaw Poland

We were raised in Warsaw Poland

When we were boys

We had to play with our noses

We didn’t have any toys

Our father broke both of his knees

Planting some kielbasa trees

Pan Fahrduski, Pan Fahrduski

Our clothes were made from burlap sacks

We had no underwear

Our shoes were made from worn out tires

Pork lard in our hair

We wiped our butts with petrified bread

We used a trash can for our bed

Glupiec swinia, glupiec swinia

Oh, we were starving

So we took up carving to pass the time of day

We were raised in Warsaw Poland

When we were just kids

Our parents ate some rancid kielbasa

And flipped their lids

We stowed away on a boat to the States

Now we live in cardboard crates

Pan Fahrduski, Pan Fahrduski

Oh, our pockets were empty

One of these days we’ll have kielbasas of our own

We were raised in Warsaw Poland . . .

Village Kiss

In Greenwich Village we met a girl

Who seemed to like our looks

When we asked her for a kiss

She gave us one that went like this

Uh Smooch Uh Smooch Uh Stoopchie Pwuh

Uh Smooch Uh Smooch Uh Stoopchie Pwuh

Girl what you have done to me

Rubber legs and spongy knees

Our hearts were pounding in our chests

The sweat was pouring down

We tried to speak but only stuttered

So to our lips she just rebuttered

Uh Smooch Uh Smooch Uh Stoopchie Pwuh

Uh Smooch Uh Smooch Uh Stoopchie Pwuh

Girl what you have done to me

May require surgery

Uh Smooch Uh Smooch Uh Stoopchie Pwuh

Uh Smooch Uh Smooch Uh Stoopchie Pwuh

Girl we cannot live like this

Being chased by baboon lips

I could not run I could not hide

Her lips engulfed my face

I thought that I would suffocate

As she began to osculate

Uh Smooch Uh Smooch Uh Stoopchie Pwuh

Uh Smooch Uh Smooch Uh Stoopchie Pwuh . . .

The Saga of Aunt Sauerkraut

Dac mnie ladny plaski 

Dac mnie zimno woda

Dac mnie jelly donut 

Honolulu Lulu!

Dac mnie ladny plaski 

Dac mnie zimno woda 

Dac mnie jelly donut 

Honolulu Lulu!

Chaston and Groditski are in Huntington town

They’re here to search for Aunt Sauerkraut’s head.

What are they nailing to the telephone poles?

They’re nailing posters that alert us to this plight:

Lost – Aunt Sauerkraut’s jelly donut head

Lost – Aunt Sauerkraut’s jelly donut head

Oh what could have happened to

Auntie Sauerkraut’s head?

Aunt Sauerkraut had a jelly donut for a head

Jelly donut, jelly donut for a head!

Jelly donut, jelly donut for a head!

She tripped on a pertrified lima bean

And her jelly donut head rolled into a sewer

Aunt Sauerkraut lost her jelly donut head!

Aunt Sauerkraut lost her jelly donut head!

It floated and bounced and rolled

And bounced and floated and rolled

It rolled onto the pitcher's mound at Yankee Stadium

Where the pitcher thought it was a baseball and threw it

And the batter hit a home run onto a golf course

And a golfer teed it up and drove it far and wide

And it flew, it flew, it flew, it flew away!!!

Aunt Sauerkraut can’t find her jelly donut head!

Aunt Sauerkraut can’t find her jelly donut head!

Aunt Sauerkraut can’t find her jelly donut head!

Her jelly donut head!

Today is our bean-picking day!

We do pick our beans all through the day!

This is all that we wanted to say!

Today is our bean-picking day!

Look! Aunt Sauerkraut is walking around in a frenzy!

Cholera! What is Aunt Sauerkraut going to do?

I am searching for my jelly donut head

I am using a potato chip instead

If I cannot find my head

I will be dead (hear what she said?!)

I will be dead (that’s what she said!)

I will be dead (hear what she said?!)

So help her find her jelly donut head!

Then just then just then just then

Just flying through the air

From the soccer field, you know

We had a pleasant scare

That jelly donut came soaring down

Soaring down, by heck

And it landed right upon

Auntie Sauerkraut’s neck!

Her jelly donut head landed on her neck!

Her jelly donut head landed on her neck!

Aunt Sauerkraut has found

her jelly donut head!

Aunt Sauerkraut has found

her jelly donut head!

Shove It Up Your Krzywa Dupa Dziura

You say a broken plunger

Gets your panties in a knot

Well you can shove it up your krzywa dupa dziura

The corporate consultant

Says to think outside the box

Well he can shove it up his krzywa dupa dziura

The clergymen are praying

For more money on the plate

Well they can shove it up their krzywa dupa dziura

My wife is screaming at me

‘cause I’m home ten minutes late

Well she can shove it up her krzywa dupa dziura

Don’t tell me lies about Aunt Sauerkraut

Don’t tell me how you caught a ten-pound trout

Or you’ll hear me shout

Shove it up your krzywa dupa dziura

Scientists are saying that the earth is heating up

Well they can shove it up their krzywa dupa dziura

Psychiatrists advise us how to let our pain erupt

Well they can shove it up their krzywa dupa dziura

Don’t give me highlights

Of the books that you’ve read

Don’t tell me all the pithy things that you’ve said

Or I’ll grab your head and

Shove it up your krzywa dupa dziura

Shove it up your krzywa dupa dziura
 
 

superpolacksmall.jpg
Walt poses after the first performance of "Shove It Up Your Krzywa Dupa Dziura" in 1972.

The Ants are Here

The ants are here – we march on your house

The ants are here – we march on your house

And now the ants – march in your house

And now the ants – march in your house

Hoooo Oooo Wee-Oooo  Hoyt!  Hoyt!

Hoooo Oooo Wee-Oooo  Hoyt!  Hoyt!

Pardon me, why are you marching

On my head Mr. Ant?

(Hoooo     Oooo    Wee-Oooo    Hoyt!  Hoyt!)

Maybe you look like a hjelly donut - Mr. Man

(Hoooo      Oooo  Wee-Oooo     Hoyt!  Hoyt!)

The ants are here – we circle your bed

The ants are here – we crawl in your bed

And now the ants – march up your leg

And now the ants – march down your leg

Hoooo Oooo Wee-Oooo  Hoyt!  Hoyt!

Hoooo Oooo Wee-Oooo  Hoyt!  Hoyt!

We’ve told you this story

Nightmares do come true

(Hoooo     Oooo    Wee-Oooo    Hoyt!  Hoyt!)

The ants are marching

We’re marching over you

The ants are here – all over your bed

The ants are here – we march on your head

The ants are here – we want to be fed

The ants are here – we eat up your head

Floating Down the River in Mine Coffin

Floating down the river in mine coffin

Floating down the river in mine coffin

Wandering waters of pestulence patience

Pondering proudly their whispery work

Carry a visitor haplessly drifting

Softy yet swiftly this Stanislaus Kirk

Oh Stanislaus Stanislaus whither are ye drifting

Ye dead gruesome shell of original man

The liquid ye sail on fears even thy coffin

That floats on the foam of this bubbling sea

Now night hast arrived as thine dear man departs

He floats in his coffin down the Missouri River

Lo, night hast arrived as thine dear man departs

He floats in his coffin toward Kansas City

Floating down the river in mine coffin

Floating down the river in mine coffin

chgrstudiodiscuss2.jpg
Editing at Ypsilata Studio.

Boo Hoo & Bosco Rap’n’Rock

Boo Hoo and Bosco Rap

This song's a bunch of crap

Boo Hoo and Bosco Rock

This song's a bunch of sdghot

To be a rugged hoarhadee

You need a brainless melody

So keep your lyrics dumb an' simple

Or we'll squeeze your head just like a pimple

Boo Hoo and Bosco Rap

This song is full of crap

Boo Hoo and Bosco Rock

This song is full of sdghot

Boo Hoo and Bosco Rap

This song is full of crap

Boo Hoo and Bosco Rock

This song is full of sdghot

Now I'll tell you something neat

That will knock you off your feet

I've got something you should know

I've got not one . . . but two big toes

Boo Hoo and Bosco Rap

This song's a pile of crap

Boo Hoo and Bosco Rock

This song's a pile of sdghot

Boo Hoo and Bosco Rap

This song's a pile of crap

Boo Hoo and Bosco Rock

This song's a pile of sdghot

Come and join the singing sdghots

We'll scream and grunt and bang some pots

Our style is strange but never lewd

We're Polish homies from the hood

Boo Hoo and Bosco Rap

This song's a bunch of crap

Boo Hoo and Bosco Rock

This song's a bunch of sdghot

Tell Me, Jelly Donut

Do you wish oh jelly donut

That you had wings so you could fly

Do you wish oh jelly donut

That you had wings so you could fly away

Tell me . . . jelly donut

There’s something I just got to know

Oh . . . jelly donut

Why are you dancing on my big toe?

And tell me . . . jelly donut

Can I fix that leak with a tire patch?

Tell me . . . jelly donut

Were you discombobulated in a boxing match?

Do you wish oh jelly donut

That you were made with lips and teeth

Do you wish oh jelly donut

That you had feet so you could run to me

Oh . . . jelly donut

There’s something else that I got to know

Tell me . . . jelly donut

How big do jelly donuts grow?

And tell me . . . jelly donut

Have you been disenfranchised by society?

Tell me . . . jelly donut

Do you taste okay with herbal tea?
 
 

jellydonutsmall.jpg

Which Would You Rather Do?

Every person has to make choices in life

Should you disembowel your husband or recycle your wife

Drop your paycheck on baubles or blow it on beer

Decisions like these can make you tremble in fear

If you're faced with options that cause you distress

Don't get apoplexy while you ponder a guess

Develop an instinct for picking the prize

Try this little quiz to make you crafty and wise

Which would you rather do?

Milk a sweaty bull, or

Chug water out of a jug with Abe Lincoln's toenail in it?

Which would you rather do?

Ride backwards down Pikes Peak in a red wagon, or

Surf the London sewer system?

Don't be discouraged if your options stink

Tighten your G-string it will help you not to blink

If your brain is imploding and your neurons are fried

Better roll the dice and take the payoff in stride

Which would you rather do?

Slide down a redwood tree in a jockstrap, or

Juggle Albanian rattlesnakes?

Which would you rather do?

Soak your dupa in a vat of runny eggs, or

Make love to Aunt Sauerkraut?

Insomnia's raging and you're under duress

Exercise options that will serve you the best

Develop a direction for your fortunes to take

Listen up zasrany for your sanity's sake

Which would you rather do?

Stuff burning onions in your mouth, or

Spoon for treasure in a porta-potty?

Which would you rather do?

Give an enema to a blind bagpipe player, or

Sing a song written by Chaston and Groditski?

Would you rather do cartwheels around an active volcano?

Would you rather eat kitty litter nuggets?

Would you rather tap dance all day around your toilet bowl?

Would you rather sit on a cactus?

Would you rather floss your teeth with fly paper?

Would you rather set your hair on fire?

Would you rather do stand-up comedy at a monastery?

Would you rather play pin the tail on the hoarhadee?

I’d rather shove chocolate-covered pineapples

Up my dupa for Thanksgiving!

Brain Sdghot

Brain Sdghot Wensislavian music

Brain Sdghot use it or lose it

Brain Sdghot Boscojonski

Brain Sdghot hoarhadee oink

Brain Sdghot glupiec kochanie

Brain Sdghot taky zasrany

Brain Sdghot spearmint onion

Brain Sdghot stare at the sun

Protestant nun . . . get up and run

Squeeze my dupa strain my brain

I haven’t got a thing to gain

Put me on that choo-choo train I’m gone

Give me a lobotomy before I go nuts

Pin the tail on the medulla oblongata

My mind is so open that my brains fell out

Somebody flush my central cortex

Sometimes we sits and thinks

And sometimes we just sits

Brain Sdghot inverse dialectic

Brain Sdghot social dyspeptic

Brain Sdghot mental bunions

Brain Sdghot give me a toke

I’m mentally broke . . . life is a joke

Squeeze my dupa strain my brain

I haven’t got a thing to gain

Put me on that choo-choo train I’m gone

Brain Sdghot [Yeeeeaaaahhh]

Brain Sdghot [My thought-center is regurgitating]

Brain Sdghot [Somebody flush my central cortex]

Brain Sdghot [My synapses are cross-firing]

Brain Sdghot [Give me a lobotomy before I go nuts]

Brain Sdghot [My brain stem is growing branches]

Brain Sdghot [Sometimes I sits and thinks]

Brain Sdghot [and sometimes I just sits]

Brain Sdghot [My synapses are cross-hatching]

Brain Sdghot [Give me a lobotomy
                       before I blow my shorts out]
 
 
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We Roasted Santa Claus

Christmas Eve there was a storm

The temperature was dropping quickly

We built a fire to keep us warm

And we roasted Old Saint Nick

We filled the fireplace with logs and leaves

Our frozen clan of rugged hoarhadees

And threw on top of that some burning wreaths

Just as Santa down the chimney squeezed

We toasted Santa Claus then we roasted Santa Claus

Oh we toasted Santa Claus then we roasted Santa Claus

Yes we toasted Santa Claus then we roasted Santa Claus

We roasted Santa Claus

The branches crackled in the sizzling fire

The heat was swirling up the chimney spire

Santa sweated in his gay attire

The roaring flames grew so much higher

We toasted Santa Claus then we roasted Santa Claus

Oh we toasted Santa Claus then we roasted Santa Claus

Yes we toasted Santa Claus then we roasted Santa Claus

We roasted Santa Claus

Smoke and ashes were flying

The hoarhadees were perspiring

Santa’s dupa was frying . . . in the flames

We toasted Santa Claus then we roasted Santa Claus

Oh we toasted Santa Claus then we roasted Santa Claus

Yes we toasted Santa Claus then we roasted Santa Claus

We roasted Santa Claus

May I suggest we pull Santa out of the chimney

Yeah that fire is really crackling

Uh oh, Santa’s dupa is stuck

Call nine one one

Okay, what’s their number?  Nine, one, one

Hey, somebody get a fire extinguisher

Hey, Santa’s dupa’s on fire

We toasted Santa Claus then we roasted Santa Claus

Oh we toasted Santa Claus then we roasted Santa Claus

Yes we toasted Santa Claus then we roasted Santa Claus

We roasted Santa Claus

Piesn Polski

Shprineyah kojeewah Shpishtah koyugah

Shprineyeh smaljeenah Shmyah sdhighsdoh

Shpreenyah kojeewah Shmyah katoomyah

Only kowashtah O-lah mah-lee-mah

Mah-lee-mah mah-lee-mah pa-loo

Kee-mah koo-wah pah-ing-yah ah-koo

Ikky nikky pokey tah-doo

Ting-ah-bye lah-kah-loo Ah dee yah

La la la la la la la la la la la la la

La la la la la la la la la la la la

La la la la la la la la la la la la la

La la la la la la la la la la la

Zasrany portki pocaluj mnie w dupa 

Glupi swinia dobrze Shprineyah Shmootz 

Pyzaty babka brudzic kielbasa

Dac mnie buzy zabawny hoarhadee

La la la la la la la la la la la la la

La la la la la la la la la la la la

La la la la la la la la la la la la la

La la la la la la la la la la la

Kurwa kurwie lba nie urwie

Kapusta kiszka plaski pierogi

Ale jaja ogorki gaznik

Groditski Chaston blazenski hoarhadees 

La la la la la la la la la la la la la

La la la la la la la la la la la la

Attention rugged hoarhadees . . .

please stop singing

We’ve got the house surrounded . . .

Come out with your microphones up . . .

Drop your gowumpkes and

         proceed to the white vans . . .

Hey captain, hand me those

         white straightjackets . . .

Don’t try to run, you’re in violation of

         state ordinance 23,910 for singing

         happy Polish songs . . .

Come out now rugged hoarhadees,

         we have you surrounded . . .

She Fell into a Sewer

She fell into a sewer on Fifth Avenue

But there was nothing we could do

We were afraid to help her out of the sludge-filled hole

Because we thought we’d fall in too

A crowd of people stood around her and they stared

It seemed that no one really cared

They thought that she was looking for her hoarhadee

They didn’t notice she was scared

Soon all the people started moving closer in

They seemed to notice she was sinking to her chin

They watched her helpless struggle

As she sank slowly out of sight

She fell into a sewer on 5th Avenue

But there was nothing we could do

Yeah, we was afraid to pull her out of the sludge-filled hole

‘Cause we was wearing brand new shoes

Hey, all youse guys with old shoes, jump in there

Soon all the people started moving closer in

They seemed to notice she was sinking to her chin

They watched her helpless struggle

As she sank slowly out of sight

Who Hath Time

Who hath time . . .

Vacuum up the rolling hills

Dust the treetops, dull the quills

Of porcupines and horny toads

And blow the north wind’s bloody nose

Who hath time . . .

Manicure the pachyderm

The baboon gets a frisky perm

Prune the smelly gowno tree

And bathe the rugged hoarhadee

Who hath time . . .

Who hath time to fetch the towels

And clean the mountains’ filthy bowels

Which spew forth soot and ashes black

And who hath time to scratch my back

Who hath time . . .

chgrpolskiculturesmall.jpg
Groditski & Chaston dedicating the Wensislavian Cultural Center!

 

 

 

 

 

(C)(P) 2003 Walter J. Groditski

& Peter R. Chaston (BMI)

Be a Rugged Hoarhadee

Now listen people it’s not hard

To be a rugged hoarhadee

Just eat kielbasa by the pound

And you can be a hoarhadee

If you know how to play your cards

You’ll be a rugged hoarhadee

Scream like a shmuck and jump around

And you can be a hoarhadee

Rug-ged  rug-ged  hoarhadee

Rug-ged  rug-ged  hoarhadee

Rug-ged  rug-ged  hoarhadee

Rug-ged  rug-ged (beeps)

Don’t need a change of underwear

To be a rugged hoarhadee

And don’t you worry if they stare

Be proud to be a hoarhadee

Dance all around your toilet bowl

To be a rugged hoarhadee

Make silly songs a lifelong goal

And you will be a hoarhadee

Rug-ged  rug-ged  hoarhadee

Rug-ged  rug-ged  hoarhadee

Rug-ged  rug-ged  hoarhadee

Rug-ged  rug-ged (beeps)

Take a trip with Uncle Wensis

Sing a song that makes no sense

And when your head is full of dents

You’ll be a rugged hoarhadee

Song Lyrics from "Dupa Face" and "Relatively Relative"

Dupa Face

We cringe bravely at your doorstep

Hear a shuffle then a small schlep

Through the window we can see your tangled hair

The door swings wide your face emerges

A bulbous rump with lips inverted

We stumble backward and go sprawling down the stairs

Oh, oh, you dupa face . . .

Your flare your nostrils lauging, prancing

Inflate your cheeks while belly-dancing

Then purse your lips and spew a thunderous roar

We quake in fear and shriek in horror

Not knowing if we'll see tomorrow

You pounce in glee and squash us to the floor

Oh, oh, you dupa face . . .

You squeal insanely as we struggle

And as you sigh and try to snuggle

Your giant kiester pins us to the ground

Your lips attack osculating

Your hairy visage palpitating

Then you grin and spew that horrid sound

Oh, oh, you dupa face . . .
dupaface1b.jpg
DUPA FACE
chastongroditskiearlyyears.jpg
Mike Groditski, Walt Groditski & Pete Chaston
during one of their 1960's basement recording sessions.

Relatively Relative

Bohemians barf in the succulent spring

And the fishes react with the flap of a wing

Fat mother newt with her scale-ridden hide

Force the cardinal to break from his glide

Dropping the turd to the foot of the shrew

Cursed is the cockroach the crab with the claw

The doubt of a man shall he swim in the raw

Belch out a dinner the bird and his worm

Being stretched from his hole

While his both ends do squirm

And his insides ooze out in the glistening dew

What shall the Mongol defend with his spear

While under dead fungus the tree hides in fear

The bitter black berry which drops to the ground

Poisons the air with the gut of its sound

And waits in the dust for the sole of a shoe.

(C)(P) 2005 Walter J. Groditski

& Peter R. Chaston (BMI)